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ECmusicgeek
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Name: Jessica
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Birthday: 12/13/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Range of Geekdom includes: Music Theory, Music History and Conducting, show choir, all things sparkly, anything involving office supplies
Expertise: Consistently forgetting to check my voicemail!
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  ECmusicgeek
Member Since:
12/2/2004
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| Reasons why I haven't posted in a month...
1) I had my senior voice recital (or "spectacle," as Lisa Finkral aptly titled it...). It was amazing... so many thanks to all who contributed and attended. Listening to the recording of course, I'm far too hard on myself... but people that know music and love me tell me it was great... and i'm proud of it.
2) I start my new job at Vernon Hills on MONDAY! I've been thinking lots and lots about it... making big plans! It's going to be challenging for sure, but good for me (and hopefully for my new students, too!)
3) Working at Starbucks a LOT... but this has paid off, as I will get insurance coverage starting April 1!!! Praise God!
4) I don't really have internet access. Except when i'm visiting people that do. This is frustrating.
5) My back has been really bad lately. Pray for that.
6) I'm spending a lot less time with media and more time with my thoughts. And I'd like to spend even more time with Jesus.
The Lord is good. | | |
| Oh man, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I graduated last Sunday (whoo-hoo!), had Founder's Day Award ceremony on Tuesday, 2 recital rehearsals, and have been working a LOT!!! God has really blessed me in innumerable ways.
Things I was previously worried about:
-being employed this spring
-having health insurance
-recital plans coming together
-being able to even sing a recital
God has answered all these needs in abundance! I got an amazing job starting in MARCH now, at Vernon Hills High School, doing HIGH SCHOOL CHOIR! My supervisor, Frank, is just awesome, and they have worked out FABULOUS pay and schedule setup for me. I know this will be a wonderful experience.
I've been doing pretty well at Starbucks, and found out that YES, I'll be able to get benefits through the company! I will have to keep up 20 hours a week while working at the high school, which will be difficult, but my store is even helping me work that out. Unfortunately I haven't had insurance since January 1st, and that has been stressful, but I know that the Lord is going to provide soon.
I'm soooo excited about my recital! Granted, I'm nervous too, but I have a great program, wonderful musicians, and lots of people to help with the details! I can't thank everyone enough!!!
Finally, my voice... my friends know what a huge battle this has been for me over the past year and a half, and especially the last seven months. If you're attending the recital PLEASE don't expect perfection, because I'm still a HUGE work-in-progress (then again, aren't we all?). But I am thankful to say that my voice is better than it has ever been. It's something I have to consistently trust the Lord for, because day-to-day I don't know what's going to come out. But my prayer is that this recital will glorify Him, and I know HE has the power to make that happen.
Thanks to all of you for ALL your positive words and encouragement! They really mean a lot to me!
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| Not God... but me. So I was in my car, listening to the radio, as I often do (a DJ's gotta keep her ears open, you know)? And I heard this song that came out this summer I believe. But it hit me in a new way. This is "Unfaithful" by Rihanna. But imagine that you're singing it about Jesus. Whoa. Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)
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| Unlimited... my future is unlimited... It's funny, but I've realized that when I think about dates on a calendar, I often picture them visually. Like when I'm thinking about a certain week, my mind darts to what my planner looks like for that week: MTW on one side, TFSS on the other side, and all the events filled in. When I'm thinking about a time of day, sometimes I see a clock. If it's before noon, I'm approaching the top of the circle... when it's after noon, I'm descending. And when I picture dates in a year, I always see it in a long vertical list, with January being on top. One would think that I would make a bigger deal out of New Year's, then, since it changes my whole visualization of time, from bottom to top... I think that I don't like making a big deal about New Year's because I don't want to set some unreal expectation for the future. In reality, as we all know, the difference between New Year's Eve and New Year's Day is just one second later in the grand scheme of time. So why bring up the mental visualization of the yearly calendar? After all, this whole visualization really doesn't do much for me. I don't like the idea of the whole year "going downhill" from January 1st. But for one second, before I started thinking too much about the metaphor, I liked the simple fact that January 1st made me look up. If anyone's been paying attention to my xanga entries, you'll probably see that my mention of the Lord has not been as present. It's because I haven't been paying as much attention to Him or His presence within me as I would like to. I realized at church yesterday that my life has become too worldly, too secular. I won't lie about it: I like watching TV. Which isn't really a problem, except that the more time I spend watching TV, the less time I spend reading my bible, praying, or frankly, thinking and processing what's happening around me. This semester was definitely filled with blessings and opportunities, of which I am extremely thankful, but it also presented a somewhat disguised yet powerful challenge: continuing to seek hard after the Lord without being surrounded by the friends and ministry that have helped me to do this through four years of college. And friends, I failed. No, I didn't run off in the other direction, but I became passive. Praise God for keeping me out of trouble and still continuing to bless me with great student teaching, jobs...all these things I don't deserve! I see before me, in this new year, a chance to look up... to re-focus on Him. This is a time in my life where I could max out my time with all sorts of "good things," like working, practicing, etc, and continue to let the Lord be the back-burning sustenance to my existence. That would be easy to do. But what I've seen from my failure this fall is that I'm going to have to actively seek out my Savior if I want to grow. God gave me a pretty powerful message: he wants to use these things he's put inside me in amazing ways for His glory; things that I can't even dream of. He's given me amazing gifts, talents, and opportunities that are worth far more than their perceived earthly value. I love to sing, I love to teach, and I'm sure I have spiritual gifts...He has plans for all of those things. And, the healing will come. But He won't make these things happen until I'm on board. I've got to be watching, listening, seeking Him out. Since I have so much freedom over my schedule the next few months, I've got a great opportunity for this to be an amazing season with my Savior. Friends, pray with me that I will give Him the chance to do this great work within me in this new year. | | |
| I'm in St. Louis, y'all! Gimme a call! | | |
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